Yesterday at church, my favorite Pastor preached. Dr. Bob Laurent. We've been in a series about the 10 Commandments and he spoke about "Do Not Steal." What was really cool about it is that he didn't stand up there and preach about following the rules. He preached about how following the rules instead of Christ - makes us fearful of not following them right. That fear makes us do things like steal because we believe that we aren't good enough for God, or we need to have what someone else has to be good enough (ahem - Wednesday video message - good enough). We become performance driven in following the rules instead of driven by His grace and love and we miss the point of why he came.
He said, "We don't trust God's love so we choose fear. We think we aren't enough..." Wow, ever felt that way before? He got to the root of the issue - fear - and reminded us that God wants us to TRUST.
He said, "Beloved, he will provide for you. Stay where you are - let him work in you. Your value comes from the death of Jesus Christ - is that enough?" That makes you think, doesn't it!?
So -I just wanted to share with you what I wrote at the end of the service in reflection on Dr. Bob's words and my sermon notes. Maybe some of this will speak to you...
God I know I've been doubting you with my actions. Like I'm trying to have it arranged all together so I can offer it (me) to you on a silver platter. But you want the platter shattered. You want a shattered platter (of me) with all it's pieces so you can put it (me) back together and made whole. You want me "but God I can do..." and you want my everything. As I write this I'm hearing this verse:
Isaiah 43:19, "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams of wasteland."
So on Friday I had meeting with women who support Healthy Voice. I've come to the end of myself - where I can't do it all myself (which I knew) and I need help. So I reached out to these women who I've spent a lot of one-on-one time with to come together.
So we came together, let the Holy Spirit guide us (because He truly is what Healthy Voice is all about) and He gave us the direction. But before He did, he took a little bit of my weakness and laid it on the table. At one point, my heart began to break for those who are lost - with no direction spiritually, with only their material wealth or future accomplishments to give them peace knowing how much they need a Healthy Voice. I want so desperately for them to have it. But I also want to help pull it out of them. I want to help them see, and really all I can do - is BE.
All I can do is be real and be the voice for Healthy Voice so that HE Can do the work only HE can do, and my friends assured me of that. As my heart broke down with tears of empathy, my friends encouraged me and reminded me that God will do the job of saving the lost through the Holy Spirit. We just have to be real about our lives because he loves us.
They also assured me of this: Philippians 1:6 "Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
So being real - my heart breaks for those who are lost, but I know that God will use me to reach them. I don't have to do all the work. I don't have to figure out all the ways to get them. He's going to take care of that. He already has and does. So I'm just going to continue letting my heart break for them, and let Him continue to heal my heart and use it to reach them.
My heart is all out for Jesus and I'm here to trust Him, to let go of my platter and let Him put it all together.
If there is anything I know about the last two years of growing deeper in my dependence on Him - even in a performance driven society - HE is the one who provide - not me, not my trying, but HE.
All I have to do is trust and know he's not looking for worldly, performance driven Meredith but daughter of the one true King, child of God, servant, warrior and overcomer Meredith.
That's it. That's all. He just wants me.
So here's ME!!
Today...I was in my devotionals and found this from Utmost for His Highest to really complement what I was writing. So maybe it'll give you a little extra oomph. And come back Wednesday for a little video message on "What to do with Not Good Enough" and a bonus at the end of the week about "Running the Race" as I'll be running one in Grand Teton on Friday!!!