Granger Community Church

How to make Lent a Positive Journey Within: Using your Healthy Voice

Posted by Meredith Terpeluk on February 22, 2012 / Posted in General Interest

Lent is supposed to be a time of reflection and meditation, where we give something up in order to grow closer to God. Last night Ali (my cousin finishing up grad school in Austin) and I googled the word “Lent” to go deeper into it’s meaning. These words stood out: mourning, repentance, abstinence and fasting.

I find that our culture focuses so much on what I consider to be the Unhealthy Voice aspect of it. I think if we look at it in a different way, we can actually go deeper into the reflection and meaning behind the season. So I’m writing this today to help you go to that place – to get a deeper meaning than what we see on the surface.

What DO we see on the surface with Lent?

“I have to give up something. What am I going to give up?” We go into restriction mode, almost like the diet. We see someone with ashes and either judge them or judge ourselves and think “I should get ashes.” We feel guilty, because we are such sinners there is nothing powerful enough to give up to make up for our sins and what Jesus has done for us. “How could giving up chocolate possibly compare?” We compare ourselves to Christ dying on the cross (seriously?) or how big our friend’s sacrifice is, how much they are giving up. We beat ourselves up for not giving up enough, “I’ve got to do this perfectly this time.” The list could probably go on and on….

So I want to tell you what I’m doing today, what I’m doing over the next forty days and finish it off with 10 Tips on what you can do this Lent.

What am I doing today?

Well, this morning I did my meditation.

I’m listening to the soundtrack from the movie The Mission as I write this. I picked it up the other day at Waterloo Records for three bucks with a few others that remind me of Dad – music is a huge part of my grief process right now.

I’m going to get ashes with Ali this afternoon. I’m not going to walk in with my head down. I’m going to walk in with my heart open because I know the spirit lives within me. He’s not just up there, He’s in my heart. I found Him there almost four years ago and he’s always there. So today I can celebrate that. I can celebrate that he meets me where I’m at and loves me no matter what has happened or what I feel or think. If I just keep turning to Him, letting him lead me, leading an honest life, walking with Him beside me – I’m taking steps in His direction. He’s not there keeping score.(Granger Community Church just did a very powerful series on this. Click here to watch the preview.). That whole keeping score thing is mine, not his. He loves me. He. Just. Loves. Me. If I Let him and if I let him, I get a relationship with him. It’s AWESOME awesome stuff. But it’s just the stuff that works for me….we’ve all got our own path.

(Oh and when I go I’m going to have this image in my head. Check out the guy in the photo on the right. Pops at St. Matthews cathedral last Ash Wednesday, apparently ended up on the cover of The Washington Times and I didn’t see it until a few months after he passed. I just about lost it. But today I have a close-up of him on my dresser back at home. It’s angelic to me. He’ll be in the pew next to me, holding my hand in spirit. I know.)

Then later this evening Ali and I are going to yoga by candlelight. I plan on opening my heart again and releasing my mind on the mat.

Over the next forty days?

I started off my day yesterday walking around Town Lake, Austin listening to a podcast by Christine Caine, a profound leader and speaker from Australia. It was called “Leadership and Ministry Pt 5″ and she spoke about the heart, mind and soul. That would be the first of three times I’d listen to the podcast that day. She blew me away (as she always does) and said something very powerful about how leaders fall (and really anyone falls). She said, “We get caught up with external behavior modification rather than internal transformation and everything flows from the inside out.” What a great thing to hear the day before Lent starts. So, I’m setting an intention this Lent. It’s really just continuing to walk in the path of the Healthy Voice. Yes – it’s taking care of my physical self – working out, eating right for me. But it’s beyond that – the transformation stuff of - keeping my heart, mind and soul strong. There is no better time than now for me to do that. I’m mourning the loss of my father. I’m more connected to God than ever. But he’s got to do the work and I’ve just got to be willing to go there with Him.

I’m also going to try to filter my Unhealthy and Healthy Voice – especially with those people in person, online and in social media who really just trigger my Unhealthy Voice. We all get triggered on Facebook. We are human. Whether they are train wrecks or we stay friends with them because we quietly compare our lives to theirs – maybe it’s time that we turn down our inner critic and give them less power, by noticing how much power we’re giving them, blocking them or doing whatever we have to do. For some of us maybe that does mean getting off Facebook all together, but there is a lot of positive stuff on Facebook and I know I’m going to focus on that – or at least that’s what Ali and I were talking about doing this morning! Maybe focusing less on someone else’s chaos will help us to go deeper within ourselves.

Meditation is a big part of my journey and connection to others. Both have to be. It’s about relationship with people on the path next to me and relationship with the spirit within that keep me strong. So the places that I find that – I’m just going to commit to connect more deeply in relationship.

So that’s what I’m up to…

10 Tips for How You can Go Within

1) Take some time today to do what helps you meditate and go within. Paint, write, go out in nature, meditate, do yoga – whatever it is – go there. Do some form of it every day, even for 10 minutes during this season. Don’t think there is some perfect way to meditate. THere is just a way that works for you…and you’ve got to find it. You may have already been doing it all your life and you just don’t know it, and it doesn’t have to be just one thing. It’s not just one thing for me!!

2) Pick something to get grounded in the physical. It will help you tap into that source within you – that light that is being muddled by whatever you are turning to that you haven’t been able to give up.

3) Go beyond abstaining from it. Go within. Don’t just abstain from it and think that the heavens are going to open up. Work it. Feel the feelings physically. How does it make you feel to be off of it? How calm do you feel in your mind? How much are your emotions coming up? Do you notice how much you’ve been using it to numb your feelings? Journal about them. Do not let them take over your life. Remember God is there to help you. That’s why you are doing this.

4) Turn to others. If you go 40 days without something, you are going to have withdrawals. When I abstained from sugar and flour, alcohol etc. it was hell. I had help. Get the help. Let the spirit meet you. Let your friends meet you. This isn’t about, “How do you not eat sugar?” It’s about, “How do I get through what feelings are coming up as I give this up?” It’s not about the SUBSTANCE, remember that.

5) Journal about it. Write down what you are feeling. If you are coming off something you’ve been using you are going to be feeling some seriously powerful emotions. Write. Them. Down. Use this as a time of reflection. It’s a better time than any and will help you stay focused when you want to go back to the substance.

6) Remember this isn’t about using lent to get perfect. My quote today says it all: “Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person.” - Dr. David M. Burns. Not only is this not about being perfect. It’s not a season of working to get good enough for God. I don’t care how much chocolate you eat, what you’ve done, how much weight you’ve got – God Loves you. Period. If you don’t believe in him – that’s fine. Just know that you do NOT have to get good enough. You are loved no matter what. Put that on your mirror for the next forty days.

7) Remember you are going beyond the physical. Yes you may drop chocolate and have a side benefit of dropping a few pounds, but your focus is this work you are doing with connecting to the spirit. Don’t keep it shallow. Go deep. So much more powerful.

8) Don’t go back! At the end of lent, we tend to do like the diet. I can have cake! at the end of 40 days. In this time of reflection, you will learn how much better you feel doing what you did. Keep it up. Keep up that physical behavior and spiritual modification. Don’t just jump right back into it when you’ve worked hard to go within. That stupid piece of chocolate does not deserve all the power back. I’m not saying never again. Whatever works for you works for you. I’m saying, recognize how much power you were giving it and maybe resolve to give it a little less.

9) Focus on abundance rather than lack. We tend to focus on lack during lent – what we’re “giving up”. Focus on what you are getting by going within – awesome connection to the spirit in a powerful way. Switch your mindset from Unhealthy Voice to Healthy Voice.

10) Set an intention. For me it’s making sure I’m strong within and continuing the healing work in my relationship with God I need to do. Think about how you can go within and set an intention that goes beyond whatever substance you are giving up to get clear.

Okay, I think that’s enough work for you for 40 days…. Enjoy going within…

A Healthy Voice Movement

Posted by Meredith Terpeluk on February 27, 2011 / Posted in General Interest

Man, it kills me that I haven’t been able to blog the last week or so. This phase of the project I’m in should be over soon so I can do it more regularly.

Anyway! I had to share a little something about how I excited I am about the Healthy Voice. I was at Granger Community Church this morning and it’s a community where they are trying to bring the church to the community. It’s transformative, and it’s AWESOME.

I LOVE this concept because it falls right in line with my vision for the Healthy Voice. I want to bring the Healthy Voice to those people who feel lost, who feel like they can’t find God, who know where they think he is, but feel like he doesn’t see them. And you know where I see this most?

Amongst young people who are growing into adulthood. I know it’s where I struggled the most to find out who I was and who God was to me. When I talk to my clients and young women, many of them know where to find God but the common theme is one of feeling not good enough or like they don’t belong because they’ve behaved in a way that God wouldn’t approve. So they shut him out.

I get it. I’ve been there, especially when I was in college and in my early twenties. I think that’s why I finally started to figure out who I was when I got to my thirties. Things changed in my thirties. Something about maturity…it’s just different.

But I don’t want young people, young women to end up on a path like I did. EVERY single moment of my path was necessary but young women don’t have to struggle with unhealthy behaviors that own them as they are trying to become the women they want to be….trying to find their Healthy Voice.

When people ask me what I do, I tell them I work with college women to help them find their Healthy Voice. Because every young woman needs to find their own voice and find it in a healthy way.

I am PSYCHED about where the direction of the Healthy Voice is going. I was SO energized this morning at church because they believe it’s about relationship and it’s about people, and that’s how they are going to grow. I envision groups of young women guided by their Healthy Voice here in South Bend. I envision it spreading to campuses nationwide where women can finally have a guide to live their healthiest life…and their happiest.

And you know what it’s all about? Love. It’s about helping women recognize how much they really are loved by God, how they can find a relationship with him…

I am psyched about the vision. And I’ve got a young woman coming out to work for me named Tavierney Rogan. She graduated from St. Mary’s College and she’s truly walking in the path of her Healthy Voice. I am SO excited to have her here, helping me mold this vision and take it further. I am beyond excited to take this Healthy Voice to the next level.

There are just too many women trying to find out who they are and their just a little lost, cause they haven’t had a guide…besides Hollywood. It’s time for that to change.

It’s time to create a Healthy Voice movement.

God is stronger than your pain and isolation….

Posted by Meredith Terpeluk on January 23, 2011 / Posted in General Interest

I went to my church service last night and when it was time to greet everyone with a welcome, I smiled and gave my usual, “Hey, how are you?” to the people around me. As the sermon starts I hear Dr. Bob talking about how THAT is the kinda guy that Jesus is, he’s not condemning. He honestly wants to know how you are doing. That’s what he does. He brings out the best in us. He sees Himself in us, even if we don’t see Him in ourselves. And we don’t see him, because we’re stuck in what Dr. Bob calls four types of loneliness:

1. guilt and shame, 2. bitterness, 3. fear, 4. life without love

It is amazing how powerful these are, and how much they can set us firm in a place of isolation from those around us.

I know I still struggle with fear sometimes and pray for God to take it. But the others? They ate me alive. Even in crowds of many, I was alone. Even in my time working at the White House, I felt alone. I felt alone because I didn’t want anyone to know about those things I was holding inside. Instead I numbed those feelings, whether it was food, alcohol, running too much, or other things. As long as it made those feelings get numb, I’d do it….then it broke me.

And then… I let go and got out of my isolation. And an amazing thing happened. Jesus came to me through ONE PERSON. That was all it took for me to be honest and let the world open up to a series of angels that would keep coming into my life, and they haven’t stopped yet….

Isolation is the opposite of what we were put on this earth to do – to walk together, to connect through our joys….AND our struggles. In fact - our struggles are where we can find out greatest strength. I’m finding in my recovery that my relationship with God just gets stronger…and stronger. And what’s amazing is that the stronger he gets, the more he flexes his muscles in my heart – the weaker my unhealthy relationship with my addictions gets. The stronger he makes me, the more I can help others get stronger than their struggles.

God is really speaking something to me lately and it goes like this –

You know Meredith, that there is no food, no piece of clothing, no drink, no person, no material thing in this world that can make you feel whole. You now know, only I can do that. Now it’s time to help people see that. I am committed to being that Healthy Voice through connecting to you with my writing and any other way I can reach you.

There are so many of us who are feeling alone with an addiction or a painful feeling. We think we’re alone, but we’re not. I’m here to tell you — Whatever you’ve done or you are doing. Whatever has got you in it’s grip…I’m here to tell you God is STRONGER than it. I promise. Just give him a chance. Talk to one person about what’s going on and you will get a glimpse of His HUGE love for you.

Who is your Goliath?

Posted by Meredith Terpeluk on August 01, 2010 / Posted in General Interest

Ephesians 6:10-12 - Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of the dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

If you read this passage and it makes you think that the world is just a terrible place and you aren’t big enough to change it, you might be missing the real meaning behind it. If you think that you are powerless over such great evils, you are not. You are totally powerful. Your healthy voice has the power to change the world.

Sometimes we think we are powerless TO our Goliath, not powerful in the face of it. So we give in. But, look at the story of David and Goliath and see how David was able to take down the beast of Goliath and fight for justice…Think of Robin Hood who had a sling that took down his Goliath…

We think, I’ll never be able to lose this weight. I’ll never be smart enough, rich enough…What happened in my past defines me. It keeps me from living life the way I really want to live it. Is all of this really true? Because if you think it is – you can choose to be stuck in this Unhealthy Voice. Or you can choose to be led by your Healthy one…

What I mean is that if you think it’s your weight, your thinking too small. What your Goliath really is, is how you let others define you. If you think it’s all about your weight – then you are letting society tell you that it is. If you think you can’t help but overeat, you are letting society tell you that your willpower sucks. If you suffer from an addiction and you blame yourself. You are letting society tell you that you are weak. How about this? Instead of letting labels define, why not empower yourself with whatever is your STRENGTH, whatever is your Healthy VOICE. You can CHOOSE to not let your weight define you and see why you hold onto it. You can choose to not eat those foods you get out of control with. You can CHOOSE to be a recovering addict, not an active addict.

We can all choose to look at our STRENGTHS, and hear our healthy voice instead of let society define us by labels and see them as our weaknesses.

This Healthy Voice blog was inspired by:

The series at Granger Community Church, Soulflix, Finding God at the Movies, specifically “Robin Hood What are you fighting for?” Watch a video here.

Rob Wegner - Thank you for helping me bring out my SLING!

“The Words I Would Say” by Sidewalk Prophets from the movie, Fireproof. Amazing lyrics. Here’s a video clip.