perfectionism

A doc talks about the addiction to perfectionism….

Posted by Meredith Terpeluk on August 19, 2011 / Posted in General Interest

How awesome is it to have a doctor that blogs about perfectionism? Dr. Cavallo is so great….he’s my doctor and runs the Physicians Holistic Health Alliance in South Bend. The first time we met, we sat down and didn’t talk about one thing – we talked for an hour about everything about my physical and mental health history, and where I’m at now. I believe this is how medical treatment should be because I believe that everything works together. Blessed to have his group here! Again, click here to read his blog on perfectionism today.

Here’s my response in case you didn’t see it:

Hey Doc, Awesome. Yes, I’m a recovering perfectionist and find it catches back up with me sometimes, especially if I’m around someone who is deep in their own. It can be really triggering. Being in recovery from food and other addictions, I know that this perfectionism is just another form of it. If I’m associating with it, I’m only hurting myself. I’m grateful that today, even though it may take a few minutes I can be nice to myself and not think I do have to be perfect. I can recognize that i AM perfectly made and thankfully can’t be perfect. I’m human, and I can remember not to put that huge weight on my back. It doesn’t mean it won’t try to catch me again, but I can recognize today that I’ve grown a lot since I was using that perfectionist stick years ago on a daily basis. Love that you posted this. Thank you. Your words came at a good time. Keep doing what you are doing!

Giving up perfection…

Posted by Meredith Terpeluk on August 10, 2011 / Posted in General Interest

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” – Anna Quindlen

I got some responses and emails from folks today whom this quote spoke to…and I want you to know that it spoke to me as powerfully as it spoke to you. It also shows me that we together aren’t alone…because so many of us have struggled with it. But the thing is, that it’s a gift. I think some people may get scared to think that perfection isn’t reachable. They may not be ready to hear it. But I’ll tell you achieving is reasonable and seeking to be the best person you can and do the best job you can with the gifts you’ve been given is an amazing thing because when you figure out you don’t have to do it all perfectly, you get to do it all just right…

I think we become ourselves when we’re finally able to meet ourselves. I definitely came to the end of myself a bit more than three years ago but often times I realize that there is still more work to do and each time, that stick I used to beat myself up with packs a weaker punch that doesn’t last quite as long. And the cool thing is that each time – I become an even closer friend to myself because I keep meeting myself instead of beating myself up. And I truly believe that if we meet ourselves and do what we can, the best that we can with what we’ve got – we’ll achieve GREAT things. We’ll do what we were called to do…and we’ll keep working on ourselves which within itself is the greatest gift of all because it’s makes us more present to life, to the moment and to the people who we serve….

Perfect imperfection is a beautiful thing. Dare to embrace it within yourself.

The morning fog of my inner perfectionist…

Posted by Meredith Terpeluk on May 23, 2011 / Posted in General Interest

Do you ever wake up just in a funk? You know, your grumpy. You start picking apart things and people outside of you in your mind… Brenee Brown talks about this in her book “The Gifts of Imperfection”. I could totally relate and I could especially relate – this morning. So I had to look at this before I let it do what a morning fog like this would like t to do all day – hang out.

So I sit down and write down those unhealthy voice thoughts. I’m grumpy for a minute. Then I can verbalize them to find out their irrationality. Then I can sit down and reflect before the day’s work begins and of course, then I come upon this — a quote from Seth Godin’s blog last week:

“Just imagine how much you’d get done if you stopped actively sabotaging your own work. We must be talented, powerful and resilient creatures indeed given how much we manage to produce despite the constant undercutting, ridicule and needless censorship we aim at ourselves.”

Wow, that one hit me over the head. Good morning to you! Oh little old perfectionist unhealthy voice who used to lead my life! I see that you’ve come out to play this morning. I recognize that I’m totally beating myself up because of fear. I’ve got work to do. It’s Monday and I’ve got things I don’t know the outcomes of, coming up too….Well if those things together don’t trigger the self-sabotage voice, I don’t know what does. I love how when we’re scared the first thing we do is turn on someone else, and then realize we’re just beating ourselves up. So this morning, I’m grateful I could take a step back and not let that sweet little voice hang out for the day. Thankfully, that perfectionist voice may come out to play but I can turn her around before she gets a hold of me. Oh, and tonight I’m going to finish Brene Brown’s book and feel great about the fact that I totally don’t have to be perfect today. I don’t ever have to be perfect. That’s a miracle in itself.

If you are a lover of self-sabotage, and thinking you can reach perfect? You totally have to read this book. “The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brenee Brown.

Have a great day….

Calling all perfectionists…

Posted by Meredith Terpeluk on September 23, 2010 / Posted in General Interest

“Become the change you want to see–those are the words I live by.” — Oprah Winfrey

I read this quote this morning and thought about how you become the change or be the change you wish to see in the world. So many of us think that becoming who we want to be means that we have to get to the finish line. We’re constantly on a treadmill trying to get to where we want to be – and we aren’t there yet. We get that thought, “I’m not good enough…yet.” If we’re working towards a career goal, we think of someone we want to be like and we get frustrated when we can’t get there.

But I think it is so important to remember…becoming the change means doing it EVERY DAY. Oprah may have made it financially and on the big screen, but she is becoming every day. Some people think she has all the answers, but if you watch her – she’s learning every day right along with her audience. I have the same philosophy. Wherever my work takes me in this lifetime, I will be learning right along with the people I work with or lead – because I’m on the journey too. We all are!

So when you think you have to be perfect before you can get that dream job, get that dream guy, get that dream whatever….remember that you are perfect just as you are today. If you want, you can BE the change you want to be today and you can do it again tomorrow. Just remember wherever you are in life is EXACTLY who you are supposed to be today and you will become who you are supposed to be if you are patient and love yourself along the journey.

To close, I read a great reflection on perfectionism this morning from Joyce Myer. Here it is if you want to read the whole thing. But if not:

Being perfect sounds good, but it is not reality. Reality is that you are a human being, and no matter how hard you try to be perfect, you still make mistakes. Your heart can be perfect, but your performance will never be perfect as long as you are on earth…Struggling for perfection to gain acceptance and approval from God or others only brings frustration and never-ending struggle…So just do your best . . . and enjoy life while you’re maturing.