So I've had this annoying low-grade flu, fever, nausea, tummy sick, heading, flu all week. I've been in between my bed, my writing chair and now I'm on my couch. Like many of you who have had it, you get my drift - it's not a party.
Anyway, part of the reason I'm annoyed is because I've got clutter. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. I've been in #decluttering mode in my house.
I've had a friend who is a master at getting rid of it come over a few times to help me through getting rid of or filing inspired post-its, to-do lists, dreams, and ideas. We've even gone to my closet. We're talking overhaul. Here's the thing..
When you lose someone you love, and then the person you love (hubs) loses someone HE loves, you are presented with the chance to say goodbye to physical "stuff." You realize in the grand scheme of things, not one of these "things" can replace your lost loved one. You also realize that it's the time you spend with the people you love while they are here, that is so much more important than the "things" you hold when they are gone. Now is what is valuable.
But it's a process - like everything in life. You think going through a box of files or clothes takes five minutes, but then you forget about all the micro decisions - Have I really worn this? Do I really need this? Is this really important to me? and so on. #decluttering is like a major brain game.
Anyway, that's what I wanted to do this week, but I couldn't. Whether I was in my bedroom or my office, I was staring at clutter, that I couldn't process, because I was sick. Laying in bed, I was staring at the piles I didn't have the mental or physical capacity to sort. Sitting in my office dying to go through the two boxes of files that need to be sorted knowing that my brain capacity can't get through two. You get frustrated when you can't go through it, but you also gotta turn it over. I'm grateful I can write, cause I needed to write this to myself:
The decluttering will happen when it happens and God knows you are ready. So sit still and rest. Don't beat yourself up because the mess you have to clean up is staring at you in the face. Trust the plan. I'm a trusting woman and I know God's got a plan and I'm gonna be grateful for the rest.
So here's the funny part....guess what God did? He took the time to declutter my mind a bit when I thought he was doing nothing. HA!
During this week of rest, he's given me revelation only he can give.
In writing the blogs I've written this week, especially the one about being okay with being a writer I realized something I don't think I would have heard if I hadn't been laid flat on my bed with the flu.
I heard God prompting me to believe in my writing, to hustle for it because it's what I do and it's a vehicle for his work that he is proud of. He encouraged me not to stifle it, not to over-plan it, overthink it, but to share it.
He also reminded me of what I learned working in politics - how to network. My Dad was a master at it, and I was too. The problem was I never was passionate about politics. I never wanted to become powerful in Washington and I always felt dumb talking about the issues of the day, cause it just wasn't my thing. I grew up on it. I could stick it out. I got myself through a Presidential campaign and a White House stint, but the subject matter? Not so much.
So, now that I've realized what I'm passionate about - sharing God's Word, and wisdom and everything he's done or doing in my life and the world through WRITING?! Now - THAT Is something I'm PSYCHED about. THAT is my wheelhouse. Of course there are personalities of all kinds I'll meet. Everything has some politics.
But I know if I show up to a writer's conference or a writers retreat this year, it's because that is who I am. I'm not trying to be somebody I'm not. I'm trying to be a better version of the woman God created me to be. I'm SHOWING UP not for myself - but for HIM to work through ME, instead of waiting for God to come to the door and say, "I want YOU to write, Meredith." I know it because of my trust in Him and our relationship. He's put these words on my heart and has been teaching me through HIS Word. That's all I need to know. I've got nothing to fear cause I'm putting HIM in charge.
So, I'm grateful for being sick this week or I may not have slowed down enough to realize that God ALWAYS has a plan, even when we think he's not letting us move forward, or not working in us. He is ALWAYS ALWAYS working in us, because he LOVES us.
My friend just posted this before I wrote this blog and it was so true:
"Dedicating the time to hone your gift will help you be ready when He opens the opportunity before you." Priscilla Shirer
Thanks Kaleena White for posting. Thanks Mary for the decluttering help, and thanks Jen Hatmaker for standing in YOUR truth as a writer to give so many of us who write a boost of courage. If you are interested in Jen's awesome blog, here you go: http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2015/02/04/on-becoming-a-writer
Oh and of course I have to share a song. This is the one that just came to my head with the verse, "You make ALL things, work together for my good."