I have had some SERIOUS revelations this week about weight. Maybe it's because I'm back into a mode of taking care of myself - working out, eating right, feeling like myself again. It's like the weight on the outside of me is there teaching me something as I SLOWLY take it off. And when I say slowly, I mean slowly. Like no scale budging, and it's like people are always going to judge whether they are weighing you in or they are seeing you for the first time in a while thinking, "What happened to YOU?" Well, honestly I don't know what they are saying or thinking. It's really none of my business actually. But if you've been one of those lifetime strugglers with it - you get me. It's like going into a Weight Watchers meeting and getting accolades because you've lost 20 pounds in a week and the next week showing up having gained. I mean, the death looks. It is no wonder we have so much shame about our weight. Anyway.
Earlier this week, I turned on that show My 600 pound life. Wow. Now I know those women and I are in very different places? But I totally "get" it and all I could think while I watched the 15 minutes of it that I did, was "This is proof yet again that weight is NOT a surface issue." It's ALL in the mind, like Joyce Meyer says, the devil likes to make your mind the battlefield. It's not the food. It's how we think about the food. The weight is just this obnoxious thing that is evidence of our emotional attachment or addiction to the food. It's yucky stuff. Watching that show I felt so convicted to talk to more women about the weight underneath - NOT the weight on the surface. Those women are doing that show, trying to eat little meals after surgery, they need a coach and a friend whose going, "I GET YOU," not - okay I lost 150 pounds and this is how I did it. Everybody always wants to make it about the weight and I'm just telling you right now, I'm protesting. I'm not going to talk about the weight anymore. I want to talk about the REAL weight - the things holding us down, the past, the pain, the feelings we have to push through....That's what I want to talk about. I challenge you to do the same with your group of friends. HA! Bring it up at your gym and see what happens!
On another note, this week for me was all about the little changes. I added lemons and limes to my water, not because I was told by some rule I had to do it, but because it felt good, and THEN I found an article on it. I stopped eating my one little slice of Ezekial bread in the mornings and it was like huge. It's amazing to me how us as food/carb/sugar addicts, whatever - we so have that disease of the mind and body. My husband could have a pancake loaded with sugar one morning and he'd be full till four. I'd have that, and I'd be starving in an hour from my blood sugar spiking and thinking about food ALL DAY. So crazy. I had no idea not having a piece of flourless bread at breakfast could trigger that insulin response so much. I mean I knew it, but I sometimes you don't really KNOW it until you make that one little choice to change. I'm also happy to say that our run last weekend went great. Was surprised at how far I could go compared to last time. Felt so encouraged! On Tuesday I got with Michel for my workout and told him how that stupid scale doesn't budge with all that's changing but how happy I was that I don't give all the power in the world to that scale to determine my worth or how my day will go or else I would be in a completely different place! And each day, I keep feeling better on the inside because I know God's working in me. He knows I'ms showing up, working out and letting him do his work in me instead of focusing on some quick-fix for my body. It is SUCH a trust thing to trust God with your weight and health. Wow. Try that on for size the next time you want to pick up that old pair of jeans and shame yourself!
Have an awesome weekend everyone.