I know, it sounds crazy. But think about it - have you ever had those times in your life that you may not be running women over for a piece of clothing, but you'll do anything to get a bite of your favorite food to comfort you?
I bet so! And guess what...God loves you anyway.
Yes, that little voice beating you up for wanting it - is not Him. It's a punishing voice making you believe you are wrong to want something that tastes good. It's a voice that wants you to constantly believe that you aren't measuring up to your perfect eating goals. I know you get what I'm talking about here.
Why am I talking about this? Because knowing that my drug is more food than clothing, I know it's power. I'm one of those people that addiction professionals like to call, "cross-addicted." I'm in recovery from multiple addictions - both substance and behavioral. When I was in treatment I was given a gift. We didn't pretend that I had one addiction - to food. We looked at the fact that I have an addictive personality and I can be addicted to anything I like - shopping, men, chocolate, drinking, exercise, and the list goes on. I can take any of it to an extreme.
But guess where it all started? It all started with the food when I was a kid and my parents got divorced. I am not there anymore. I'm not who I was, but the enemy DEFINITELY took advantage and planted a seed when I needed comfort I couldn't get.
On Monday I woke up with a tummy ache and I was reminded of God's love. I laid in bed and let the Lord speak. He reminded me of why it's about SEEKING him first and FIXING my eyes on him, why he wants us to have no other gods before him - because nothing that tastes, looks or feels good in the moment can EVER satisfy us or fill the hole in our hearts that is meant for Him. He created it. He fills it. And every time we reach for a Lilly skirt at Target or a piece of unfulfilling food, we aren't meant to be angry at ourselves, we're meant to remember who DOES fill and comfort us. That's a moment for God's grace to step in, not our self-punishing voice.
Think about the last time you did something, then beat yourself up about it. If it was food you were seeking comfort from - you know it didn't satisfy your deeper hunger. You and I both know the food won't give us comfort. But a God who loves us no matter how many times we make that wrong choice - WILL. Just read this verse below. Slowly.
If you believe God is punishing you for those little choices then you don't believe in a loving God. He loves you no matter what choices you make because he created you. He's just waiting for you to know he LOVES you.
So we can either take this time to seek comfort from food and let the enemy tell us the lie that our biggest addiction or idol can comfort us - OR we can realize when we're ready that it is only GOD who can do that.
I was reading this article on Monday, “I was a Food Addict,” by Karen Rabbit. Check it out and see if you relate to some of what she says. She talks a lot about the feeling of failure, the feeling that she failed someone, that she ate to take the edge off her feelings. DANG do I relate!!! Of course I can be one who is ruled by my stomach and it takes a power much greater than me in God to fight it! I let my stomach rule my life as a kid because I didn't know how much God really loved me. I wasn't in the Word. I was simply relying on what other people told me and I never felt secure in that. So that attraction to food became a power so strong, it FELT like a god. It was and can still be a way for me to comfort myself when I have a feeling even when I don't know I have it!
But what I do know today - is that it is NOT more important than God. It is NOT a god. It can tempt me into believing it still has that power over me. But God comes first and I go to Him when it's fighting for the power. It may have been a safe harbor for me as a kid but my only safe power today is Christ Jesus.
Even recently, with my surgery last year. The enemy completely took advantage of me in my head when the weight came on as I ate as I normally do. It wasn't just a physical battle it was a mental battle and I am STRONGER for it in spirit because I relied on GOD. I am slowly but surely getting back to my old fit self in mind, body and mainly spirit. I will always have the enemy trying to attack me around food cause he knows it's where I'm most weak. Hello! Read below.
The beauty is that the Lord is strong where I am weak. The world will tell me it's got a way to "fix" my weakness but God reminds me HE Is the only one who can heal my heart and soul. HE Is strong where I am weak.
Take that devil. I may seek comfort from my fears, insecurities and failures but I ALWAYS will know that NONE OF that will give me what only GOD can give me. I already know I'm weak. I already know you are prowling like a lion trying to defeat me - ESPECIALLY since I'm giving God the glory. So you can keep attacking, but I've got a strong God who LOVES me. I AM a child of God.
And THAT just made me think of THIS worship song.
Peace to you my friends! See you tomorrow.