Dr. Bob Laurent

Healthy Voice on Marriage and Relationships and Why It's Really About Spirituality; First of a Blog Series Dedicated to Millennials

Hi everybody! So I just saw that the last time I posted my blog was June 1st. It has been one busy summer. From running in the Tetons to getting my appendix out, to a blended family vacation and a 2 week trip out East to be with family - can you say whirlwind?!! Life flows. Content flows. But when you are in the middle of it - you gotta stay in the flow and let it hit the page when it's time. I know you are sad you didn't get to see a video of me the Wednesday morning in June I woke up out of appendix surgery...

Mind you, I wanted to write this post Monday and have it for you Tuesday but of course that didn’t quite happen because 2 weeks out East requires a few adjustment days. Not only that, God had me sit down yesterday and work on the first part of the teaching for Healthy Voice. So - it's good to know he's in charge. I always appreciate the reminders or else I'll miss what his plan is next. 

So - The following blog is for anyone but is primarily dedicated to Millennials. With so many kids starting school in a few weeks I want to write a short series on subjects that I hope will speak to you/them, so if you are a young person of the next generation or you love them - please share. They need hope for walking through life on subjects they don't always get to hear real talk about so, consider this the "Series for Millennials" and today I'm starting with the topic of marriage and relationships.

 The bonus for YOU as the reader in all this, is that it’s giving you a double dose in one day of Healthy Voice content cause you are getting this blog followed by a Wednesday video. I mean, it really works out in your favor. Okay, with that, let's get on with it!



Anytime I think of the word marriage, I can hear the guy from The Princess Bride calling it, “Mawwiage.” It’s kinda funny too because I went to church on Sunday and the sermon actually started with a clip from that movie on the topic.

Sidenote:This is not a post all about how to get married. It's for anyone in any kind of relationship or not. I'm not writing this blog to get into the political debate about the state of it. No Thanks. I'm just sharing something I'm learning along the way at a time when marriage has been the theme the last few weeks of my life and a bit in the world (again - not the political part. I don't do politics on here except to cover my prospective leaving it)

 My goal here is to show you why when it's not about that person making you happy but seeking God's love and plan for your life that makes it a beautiful journey.


So last weekend I got to my cousin Becky’s wedding outside of Philadelphia. It was a very special wedding because she is very special to me. But it was also special because I could see that they were in it together, for the right reasons. I could see that God was at the center, not because of a building but of a peace in their hearts. That excites me when I see that, because I see the potential for glory God can display in a marriage that starts from the heart. 

A few days earlier I got to have dinner with another cousin Allie, who is getting married next year to a wonderful guy. These two as well, excite me - because I can see in her heart and theirs together that they are approaching it as a spiritual journey with God guiding them. The wedding in the church will be a very special day for them, but what God does in them together as they build a life, is the really cool part.

Another friend - from home, I was talking to on the way out recently started seeing a guy. Marriage is not where they are at but I can tell from talking to her it's the same theme - trusting God to guide them. It's not a self-righteous thing. It's a knowing thing and when you know that God's in charge, you aren't all in for yourself. You are in it because you know God's gonna do something awesome in it by bringing you two together. Is it perfect? No. Do you bring your desires, fears, hopes, dreams, good, bad and ugly? Yes. But above all - you bring you trust in the fact that you aren't in charge. No matter how you feel about each other physically, mentally, emotionally - the spiritual really comes first. It's the foundation. 

These three relationships I brought up happening right now are all three in different phases.  I have no idea how their relationships or in two of the cases marriages will unfold but what I do know is that they are willing to meet at the middle where God is in charge of it all. When I see that, I see good things to come because that’s the glue that keeps my husband and I together. God is first.

 So, if you are reading this and wondering why you haven’t found Mr. or Mrs. Right - look for that. Look for someone who gets beyond their physical needs, or their ideas of you or feelings for you - to their spiritual connection with you cause intelligence is great, physical is great, feelings are great but all of them are incomparable to the great love of Christ in your life. And by the way - you won't get that from them, you get that by building your own relationship with God and then doing it together. But it's not a check list thing. It's a God thing. Just don't expect to go out and say, "I need someone spiritual," cause you will miss out. You've got to find that in yourself first by letting God love you. Be that person who gets closer to God and let God bring them to you.

On another note, can we talk about the Bachelorette that ended this past week? My mother made me watch that wonderfulness of a show with her when I was home last week. This show is the example of what you don’t want to do. It’s brave for these people to go on the show and wonderful that they meet each other but there is no foundation except desire. The place for growth is TV, not the heart. So if that's your dream to find the person on that show? Drop it. In fact, maybe not watch it cause it's just not good for the brain.  

Fast forward to when I got home this past weekend. We went to church on Sunday, and the sermon was on marriage. Pastor Bob talked real life. He talked about being married to his wife (who is awesome) for many years, and how and why God created the man and wife to be different. It was so full of hope. It was also full of understanding in how we aren't supposed to "get" each other but take care of each other. I can't explain it. You've got a watch it to hear how he describes it. It was better than any Mars/Venus talk I've heard. You've also got to watch it just to hear the story about the fighter pilots. The whole service is on there, but you can worship a little and then sit back and relax to watch Dr. Bob Laurent. I dedicate the whole post to the couples I mentioned in this post.  Here’s the sermon: http://subsplash.com/gccwired/v/c004d0a

Lastly, I want to leave you with a verse.

1 John 4: 7-12, 16

Dear friends, let us continues to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love — not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us. (vs. 7-12)

We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love and all who love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. (vs. 16)

We love because he first loved us. If I can leave any kind of legacy for the next generation - it’s for them to understand that love comes from Him, because when you know love comes from Him? No amount of love - how little or how big - that can be felt, can come even close to the love he has for us. So when we don’t feel loved, lovable, in love, or loved period - we can know, that He loves us. He IS love.


The Surgery of the Soul that Comes After You Have Surgery

If you want to know what it's like to go through surgery and get an idea of what it does to your soul when you are in your recovery period, watch this Sermon. It's titled, "I am Here to Love God." Read on if you want learn more...

The Pastor is Dr. Bob Laurent and he gave an incredibly moving sermon this past Sunday, February 2nd at Granger Community Church on it. What he said came right from his heart and got me on a deeper level that made me feel like I was there for a reason. As I listened the best way I could describe it was the entire season was like a "surgery of the soul."

Why? Because it's not about going in for surgery, or waiting in post-op, it's the pain meds that mess with your body and mind that Dr. Bob speaks of in his sermon. I'm not sure when he had his double knee surgery, but you could tell his pain was fresh and God was holding him up there carrying him through multiple sermons.

But the way he described the season was so right on - pain on every level - mental, emotional, physical, and gut level. You think you are close to God and then you are faced with something that makes you completely unable to do what you normally do in everyday life, faced with relying on other people, not being able to move your body for exercise, so MANY things that are hard to describe in one page. It's like he was standing there to pen the closing paragraph for my season with my shoulder. Granted, in the grand scheme of pain and surgeries - ours were nothing. I know people go through much worse every day than I could ever imagine, but I know the pain and it's there to teach us something about who God is in our life.

I can say that my surgery and the 9 month recovery made me a different person. I no longer hang onto tomorrow, nor take the little things I can do with my hands for granted. I know what it's like to so badly want to workout or do something with your body, feeling the weight come on, and just having to sit with it. That's the space where I met God on an even deeper level and I rely on him more than ever simply because he carried me through it.

And again, it seems minimal but for me - it was a season of gut level honesty with God and spiritual renewal at a time when physical movement wasn't possible. Dr. Bob spoke about it as sometimes in your life you come to a place where you can't fix it. You can't jump over a valley. You slowly trudge through it. I know you get this, whether it's surgery or some other tough time in your life you've been through a soul-type surgery.

What's even more amazing to me about that surgery journey is the scars. You see on my shoulder four scars and a larger one where my bicep was reattached. For all surface purposes, the outer scars look healed. The surgery went great. The physical therapy was great. The whole thing was good - on a simply physical recovery level. But on a gut level? You couldn't see my scars. If you asked if I was all better, you couldn't see the gut level struggle it was, like Dr. Bob described. 

In some way, it reminds me as I write, of the hard work in recovering from addiction, the pain you go through at the depths of your soul when you lose someone. People would think you seem fine. But they don't know that pain deep down. That pain only you and God know.

Yet, it was never someone saying, "It'll get better," that comforted you, just like with death someone saying, "They are in a better place." It was talking to those people walking the same journey, how ever long it was going to take them at physical therapy. It was those physical therapists who made you hurt as they pushed you, but made you feel better as they talked over your pain. It was those quiet moments with God when you are like, "You've got me here for a reason and I'm trusting you," or that friend saying, "God's slowing you down for a reason," that warmed you heart and looking back knowing it was because he loved you. It was hearing someone about to get surgery and being able to say, "I get it, You aren't alone."

No it wasn't getting sympathy from other people that filled my heart. It wasn't sitting on a pity pot. It was taking the physical steps to recovery which was a full time job and letting God carry me THROUGH healing in the spiritual steps. It was knowing that the only person that mattered in all of this was God and how HE KNEW MY PAIN. He was with me in my pain and he endured on this earth SO much more pain - for me.

I am so grateful that God gives me the chance to notice how he's working in my life.

Last Sunday I saw Dr. Bob standing with a new knowledge of spiritual depth on that stage. I heard him say the word surgery and when I sat beside him and spoke, we both knew why God had us there that day - in the middle of a blizzard to share in that pain with each other, in the light of a God who loves us and is carrying us. I thanked him for putting into such beautiful words what I couldn't have come close to in describing that post-surgery season. It was truly a huge gift from God.  

And you know what? Two days later - on this Tuesday morning I saw right in a row two women post about injury and following surgery - right in a row in my News Feed, and I got to be grateful again - that I wasn't alone in my journey and it's awesome when God shows you that you aren't. Those are the things I look for - when God shows us we are NEVER ALONE. All we have to do is look for his presence.

I thank God for carrying me through that season of allowing me to dislocate my shoulder for the third time in 15 years so that I could get the surgery when I did, let the wounds heal on the outside and in the inside so he could make more more into the woman he made me to be. Just like losing my Dad and getting into recovery, I am grateful for how God works in my life to bring me closer to Him. The other day when I drafted this, there was a song coming to me (shocker). It's called, "Never Once" and it's by Matt Redman. Watch because the lyrics so describe HIS presence and this battle described above. 

Lastly, Dr. Bob, I can't thank you enough for this sermon. Friends, I don't know what your soul surgery is where you might be at in the process, but I God is working in your life. Trust Him.